Ten Year Class Reunion = Diet Time

I'm driving into work today and I started thinking about my friend Christen who is going to have her ten year reunion this year and I wondered how she felt about it and how she's preparing for it and then I realized HOLY CRAP, my ten year reunion is next year and I so need to start preparing.

Preparation comes in the form of a diet. I need to drop like 75 pounds pronto (really I would like to drop more than that but lets be realistic). Seriously people I'm not stepping foot into the Rio Grande gymnasium with the twinkly Christmas lights and the standard red punch looking the way I do (watch gross point blank and you'll see what I'm talking about, this is how I picture every class reunion). I need an overhaul and the first place to start is by dropping the poundage.

What I really need to work on is my belly. Now I never had a flat belly by any means but I didn't have this front butt before I had Maria. And you're saying "what's a front butt, I've never seen or heard of a front butt." And I'm saying "shut up twiggy, the hell you don't know what a front butt is, it's the thing you snicker at because you're so itsy bitsy, my front butt will knock you over, it alone weighs more than you do." Okay wow I may need to work on my anger towards the thinians (group of thin people). Or I could just say skinny bitches but that's too cliche, in fact it's funny how when you think of someone skinny you automatically think bitch. Seriously say skinny and you can't help but say bitch. Go ahead try it out, I'll wait....I told you!

Okay so what's my plan, how am I going to lose weight? I could do Weight Watchers, I lost 35 pounds on that before my wedding, or I could do the biggest loser, I lost like 13 pounds in one week on that one, but the funny thing is I never stuck with either of them, hence the reason I'm 150 pounds too heavy. So what is a heavy girl with front butt itis and skinny bitch envy to do?

Really I'm taking suggestions, I need solutions people and if there is a dietitian or a trainer out there that needs a charity case I'm your girl!

Have a wonderful Fat Friday!